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Writer's pictureShane Gannaway

6/4/2023

your favorite actor in a car insurance ad


doesn't feel good, but


look at the funny outfits or dance


and you will feel better. and hey, how about a taco?

it has been promised that there is no horse meat--

as long as you're in america--nor is there a majority of soy.

mostly pig and beef byproducts. objectively delicious.


and how about that progressive ad, what with the rainbows

and such,

and did you see the black baby next to the white baby? feels better

now, yes?

now that you're an ally. and you bank with an ally. and you buy from,

and stream from

an ally.


your celebrity crush in a new soda ad feels better.

get a subscription. feel this nice all the time.

you are an ally after all.

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